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According to The Washington Post, the NSA has claimed that it gathered "little reportable intelligence" from listening in to the phone calls of world leaders, including the cell phone of German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

I obtained the following transcript (translated from German) of an actual phone call made by Angela Merkel from a source at the NSA. I will not reveal the source of this transcript, though upon hitting "Publish" here, I have no doubt that my own emails, calls and conversations will be tracked by the NSA -- if they haven't been already.

In this call, Angela Merkel is designated as "AM." Her husband, Joachim Sauer, is designated as "JS."

JS: Hello?

AM: Jo, did you pick up that skirt from the cleaners?

JS: I thought what's her name was doing that for you.

AM: No! She's traveling with me! I need that skirt for tonight!

JS: Shit...

AM: I ask you to do one thing...

JS: Look, I'm busy, too!

AM: With what? Watching futbol?

JS: No! I, I uh--

AM: Go pick up the damn skirt before they close!

JS: You have a closetful of skirts.

AM: I need THAT one! Go pick it up!

JS: Jesus fucking christ...

AM: Will you do that for me?

JS: You mean, "You WILL do that for me."

AM: Who cares what I mean? Go pick it up!

JS: I hope no one is listening to this call.

AM: What do you mean?

JS: I mean, I hope no one is being FORCED to listen to this call.

AM: Forced?

JS: As part of their job.

ANONYMOUS VOICE: I'm being forced to listen to this!

AM and JS: Who is this?

ANONYMOUS VOICE: Never mind who this is. I'm sick of listening to the two of you bicker. Grow the fuck up.

AM: My security people will find you!


JS: You better hope I never get my hands on you, mister!

ANONYMOUS VOICE: Yeah, whatever. Get off your ass and go pick up the skirt.

AM: I'm hanging up now!

JS: Me, too!

ANONYMOUS VOICE: Thank god. I hate this fucking job...

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